Normally things like this overwhelm me with so much rage that I can’t see and almost have a stroke. But I will try, for your sake, to keep seeing this time.
You don’t understand how gay marriage and polygamy are different? What I don’t understand is how gay marriage and straight marriage are different. Seriously, tell me again how it says in the Bible (where it also says that mixing fabrics and eating shellfish are unacceptable. AND, less well known sidebar, there is also a Bible passage that declares women who get raped in a city are at fault because they didn’t scream loud enough. No, I don’t know the passage number. But I read it once and it stuck with me. It will probably stick with me forever) that when a man lies with another man he shall be stoned.
Can you tell me again how church and state are simultaneously supposed to be separate and make sure marriage is purely a religious institution AND keep the government out of our personal lives?
The fact that you are equating the love between one man and one woman, or two men, or two women, with the love between one man and three or four reality show characters (Sister Wives y’all) who are probably
a) unhappy, despite the face they put on for the cameras
b) a little young to be marrying some creepy jackass with a neckbeard who wears full body underwear to bed
shows how little you know. About anything. I shouldn’t let your pathetic, willful ignorance give me a rage stroke.
To everyone who is waiting for the Supreme Court decision, who is contributing to the fight for equality any way that they can (yeah I guess changing your profile picture is contributing) we need to look ahead. Not only to when we can propose toasts at the weddings of friends, gay and straight alike, but to when the bullshit-toting, religious zealots finally die, head to heaven and realize the God they loved to shove down our throats isn’t such a fan of homophobic shitheads.
5:32 pm • 28 March 2013 • 1 note
Note original content doesn’t make an appearance
7:50 am • 28 March 2013 • 8 notes
Stephanie realized THIS was why she came to college. Not to learn and discover herself but so she could go out twice a week to get groped by strangers and wade through puddles of… jungle juice? Muddy water? Somewhere in between? It’s anyone’s guess.
She kicked a beer can to the side and resumed dancing to Chris Brown.
1:31 pm • 28 February 2013 • 3 notes
I still can’t get over the fact that a libertarian accused me of having “no fiscal sense”
Yo you’re so right libertarians and their no taxes, no regulations mindset are waay more fiscally sensible than me
I always forget that nothing costs money not even building roads and this country is rooted in not capitalism that’s for sure
8:20 am • 20 February 2013 • 2 notes
Scientifically there’s no connection between how you look or what you do and who you see
But actually the one time I
a) have my hair in a disgustingly high ponytail
b) don’t pay attention to where I’m going and get hit in the face with a sizable tree branch
Unnamed cute guy #1 sees me
EXPLAIN YOURSELF SCIENCE
12:23 pm • 11 February 2013
Ode to Not Knowing What an Ode Is
I don’t care if this is in iambic pentameter,
Or hexagonacle tetrameter.
Sentence fragments everywhere.
But maybe this time I will leave the period off
Let this sentence run forever
Hahaha there are no pauses in this poem
What’s an ode?
Oh shit isn’t poetry supposed to rhythm?
I don’t know
And I don’t have time
To play in the snow
Because I’m too busy writing this dumb poem
That’s right I stopped rhyming
Hexagonacle isn’t even a word I made it up
Because that’s the kind of nonsense poets are allowed to do
Shakespeare always made up new words
He made up lurk
What a jerk
5:34 pm • 6 February 2013 • 2 notes
Fratastic: Sometimes frat boys dance with puppets but most of all frat boys don’t clean.
Welcome to Fratastic: a series, a collection of the many things found at the fraternities of our upstanding universities. Submissions are welcome, no, encouraged. You better be out there documenting all your “fratventures” *facepalm*.
8:50 pm • 31 January 2013 • 1 note